Now sitting here with pen poised in my hand
the words from five a.m have disappeared.
They seemed so grand and full of meaning then,
but now I’m chasing memories of dreams.
I told you then in no uncertain terms
“My children still come first and always will.
Don’t make me feel I have to choose between
The love we have, and being there for them,
as in my heart there’s room enough for all.
But if you push me, I will go with them.”
Depression and anxiety stalk one,
the second overdosed in May last year.
My third, who left at sixteen, gets the blues.
So when you say “This is our time now”,
I wonder what your family values are.
You think that I could ever turn my back
upon my children? When they need me still?
I marvel that you so misjudge your wife
yet still profess to love me more than life.